Why October 10 is significant to me...

I will never forget where I was on this day three years ago. That was the day when my world as I knew it was turned upside down. I was attending a training class at University of Nevada-Reno for work. I remember looking down at my phone and noticing a lot of missed calls but didn't want to be rude and answer during class. Finally when I could, I looked at the missed call list. When I saw that a majority were from my step-mom, I knew something wasn't right. Sure enough, she delivered the worse news imaginable to me.

Three years ago today, my beloved grandfather, and the man who raised me, went to be with the Lord. The next day I hopped on the first flight home to experience the worst pain I have experienced so far.

When I was going to school in Lubbock, the first thing I would do when I would go home to visit was go straight to my granddad’s room to say hi. We would chat about my trip and talk about which highways I took, (he loved to pull out an atlas and talk about which route to take) but on October 11, 2006 when I walked in the house he wasn't there and things have never been the same since.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him. Every time I go home to visit I somehow expect him to be there when I walk through the door, but he isn’t. He meant the world to me and I am forever grateful for him. He made me a stronger person, he never allowed me to give up, and though he didn't always verbally say he loved me, I never doubted it. You would think after three years, I would be able to handle grief better than I do, but when you lose someone so close, someone that significant in your life, I think it’s normal to feel as I do. My biggest thing was and sometimes still is I wasn’t there to tell him bye, and to express to him how thankful I was for all he had done.

One of the most interesting experiences I have ever experienced was during a trip to San Francisco with Melissa, Chris and the crew. We were walking along the piers and we came across this psychic who wanted to read our tarot cards. I was extremely hesitant and had no desire to spend $20 on that. She offered a no obligation palm reading free sample in hopes that what she said would make you want to buy the whole package. I gave her my palm and she looked at me and after a few moments of silence and blank looks she said, “Someone very close to you just passed, and he wants you to know he heard you say goodbye.” Either she has a really crazy imagination or someone really did send her a message from above, but either way when she spoke those words to me I immediately began to cry and I have been in the healing process ever since.

So, in honor of you today Paw Paw, I'm going to sit back and watch Texas Tech football and know that you are somewhere watching it too!